Built for Collaboration: Because Nobody Knows Everything (Not Even Your Wedding Planner)

Some of the most valuable things I’ve learned about planning weddings came from people who weren’t wedding planners. And that’s exactly the point.

The Best Reference Might Not Come From a Bride

When I was planning weddings, I always encouraged my clients to ask for references before hiring their vendors. But I had one additional piece of advice. Don’t just talk to happy couples. Talk to other wedding professionals.

A glowing review from a bride is wonderful. We all love hearing that someone had the wedding of their dreams. But for most couples, this is the first—and possibly only—large event they’ll ever organize. They can tell you whether the flowers were gorgeous, the food delicious, and the photographer made them feel like a movie star. What they probably can’t tell you is whether the florist arrived when promised, the photographer coordinated beautifully with the planner, or the caterer managed an unexpected change without making it everyone else’s problem. And those things matter. A lot.

Because no matter how talented an individual vendor may be, the success of a wedding depends on an entire team doing its job, doing it on time, and playing nicely with others. Talent is wonderful. Talent with a collaborative attitude? That’s where the magic happens.

I Know a Lot. But I Certainly Didn’t Learn It All Myself.

Over the years, people have occasionally been impressed by how much I know about particular wedding venues. I’d love to take all the credit. Unfortunately, there are hundreds of wedding professionals who deserve a rather large portion of it. The truth is, much of what I’ve learned came from the talented people I’ve had the pleasure of working alongside.

I’m not an electrician, lighting designer, or band member. But when I owned a catering company, I learned very quickly that those professionals could have a rather significant impact on my day.

Take electricity. A five-piece band needs power. So does the lighting designer. And the caterer? Well, feeding 200 people requires quite a bit of equipment to cook, heat, and keep everything at the proper temperature. If nobody coordinates those power requirements, things can get interesting. And by interesting, I mean blowing circuits when dinner is supposed to be served.

Not exactly the kind of dramatic lighting effect anyone had in mind. But because I worked with experienced professionals who shared what they knew, I learned to ask the right questions before those problems became problems. That’s collaboration. And it’s worth its weight in gold.

Your Photographer & Florist Have Opinions. Listen to Them.

The same principle applies to nearly every aspect of producing a wedding. Wondering where to position the head table? Ask your photographer. They’ll have a thought or two about the background, the light, and whether your carefully planned seating arrangement will leave half the wedding party sitting in shadows. Thinking about floral installations? Your florist knows which colors will shine in that particular setting, what can safely be attached to the architecture, and which spectacular Pinterest idea might need a little engineering.

Your caterer knows about kitchen access and service distances. Your rental company understands what furniture will fit comfortably. Your entertainment team knows what it takes to make the music sound fabulous without turning the electrical system into a science experiment. Every professional brings a different set of eyes to the same venue. And when we listen to one another, we all get better at what we do.

The smartest person in the room isn’t necessarily the one with all the answers. It’s the one who knows whom to ask.

What If Couples Could Ask Better Questions?

This is one of the ideas behind I Do Venues.Imagine a couple arriving at their first meeting with an entertainment company and asking: “We’re planning a five-piece band at this venue. What size stage would you recommend? Is there sufficient power for the band and lighting, or should we plan for additional electrical equipment?”

Now, that’s not your typical first-time wedding client. But why couldn’t it be? What if couples had access to information that helped them understand the practical side of their venue before they started hiring vendors? They wouldn’t need to become electricians, production managers, or catering experts. They’d simply be better prepared to have meaningful conversations with the people who are. And I think most wedding professionals would welcome that.

A Venue’s Maximum Capacity Isn’t Necessarily Your Ideal Guest Count

Here’s another perfect example. A venue advertises that it accommodates 300 guests. Wonderful! But 300 guests doing what, exactly? Sitting shoulder to shoulder at banquet tables? Dining beneath a tent? Enjoying cocktails on the lawn? And where does the dance floor go? The band? The bar? The cake table, photo booth, coffee station, and everything else that makes your celebration yours? A property’s maximum capacity and the guest count that comfortably accommodates your particular wedding design can be two very different numbers. That doesn’t mean the venue is misrepresenting its capacity. It means capacity is only part of the conversation.

The better question isn’t simply “How many guests can you accommodate?” It’s “How many guests can you comfortably accommodate with everything we want to include?” Those are the kinds of distinctions experienced wedding professionals understand—and the kinds of questions we want couples to learn to ask.

Why I Do Venues Is Built for Collaboration

I created I Do Venues because I wanted couples to have access to more meaningful information about California wedding venues. Not just beautiful photographs and maximum guest counts, but practical details about rental fees, furnishings, restrictions, event spaces, and how a property might actually function on a wedding day.

But I also know something important. No matter how many weddings I’ve planned, I don’t know everything. And I don’t want I Do Venues to pretend otherwise. I want the knowledge of planners, caterers, photographers, florists, designers, entertainment professionals, rental companies, and venue teams to help shape what we’re building. Because every one of those professionals has learned something the rest of us might not know.

Sometimes it’s a clever workaround for a tricky venue layout, an unexpected rental requirement, or knowing that a picture-perfect ceremony location becomes considerably less charming when guests are sitting in the blazing afternoon sun. These are the little details that experienced wedding professionals learn along the way, often from one another. And they’re exactly the kind of insider knowledge we want to bring to I Do Venues. Because wouldn’t it be wonderful if couples could benefit from all that collective experience before signing on the dotted line?

Let’s Make Experience a Shared Resource

My goal isn’t to turn every couple into a wedding professional. It’s to help them become informed clients who understand the possibilities, ask thoughtful questions, and appreciate the experience their vendor team brings to the table. Because a knowledgeable couple, a talented team, and a venue that genuinely suits the celebration? That’s a pretty wonderful combination. And to the wedding professionals reading this, I’d love your help.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about working at wedding venues that you wish every couple—and perhaps a few fellow professionals—knew?

A little more shared knowledge could make a remarkable difference. And after all these years, I’m still learning.

— Gloria Atherstone, Founder, I Do Venues

Explore California wedding venues: https://www.idovenues.org/